Oh, my table project. My was-supposed-to-be-easy-but-turned-into-disaster table.
This post is all about the problems I had redoing my kitchen table. I decided to post this, so people can see that they aren't alone when stuff goes horribly wrong. It's OK. I'm holding your hand. Get off the floor from the fetal position, wipe off the dust from your pants, get the paint out of your eyes, and see that even disasters can turn out ok if you refuse to give up!
I have had this table for about 5 years. I've always wanted to paint it black. So I did a bunch of research to find the right tutorial for me. I followed the steps pretty carefully, except I refused to buy super expensive supplies. That was probably my biggest mistake. I'm a cheapskate, and thrifty. Don't hold it against me.
I started out tackling the sanding off the what I only can assume was triple-extra strength-not-ever-supposed-to-come-off-even-with-a jack-hammer-clear-coat. I used two different electric sanders, and bunches if different grit sand paper. During this time I realized I HATE sanding, and will do anything to never have to do it again.
Under the clear coat, I found that the table was not solid wood like I thought. It's got a super thin layer of plywood (I think). That didn't stop me.
I got to priming. Just like the tutorial said, I used an oil based primer. There was some water damage in one side of the table, and it just kept soaking right in to that area. So, no matter what I did, smoothness was NOT happening easily. I primed, I sanded. I primed again, I sanded again. I tried a foam roller, which left all sorts of lines and bubbles. I tried a foam brush. It left brush marks. I tried a different roller. It shed. I tried a regular paint brush. More brush strokes.
I picked up the table in a rage and threw it. (Just kidding. That would have been giving up. NO GIVING UP!) It probably took 3 coats just to get it smooth as I could and cleaned off the dust after sanding. I was SO happy that was done.
I used a black enamel as the paint. I wanted latex, but my aunt picked it up for me, and they must have told her to use enamel. I had the same problem with the brush streaks and bubbles. after a couple coats and like a week of waiting (I hate waiting almost as much as I hate sanding) I was almost happy. Except there was STILL brush marks. So I called upon my trusty artsy fartsy friend who knows everything about every medium. She suggested I dip the brush in water first and then dip in the paint. I did that, and immediately there was a streak of bluish grey. That made me panic but I was able to get it all cleared up and it actually did put on a smoother finish. HOORAY!! So, by this point I've almost used an entire quart of paint.
I let it dry for a couple days. I didn't want to deal with more brush strokes, and really really didn't want to spend $25 on a expensive paint brush, so I made the [stupid STUUUUUPID] decision to use a clear coat. This stuff is GREAT for small jobs. A table top is NOT a small job. Oh if only I would have read more tutorials.
I ended up spraying THREE FREAKING CANS of this stuff and a couple days to try to get an even glossy finish. I tried doing it slow, doing it fast, doing it close up, doing it far away. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING worked. If I was any weaker of a person, I would have cried. Obviously, this was not going to work. And obviously the inevitable was going to happen. More damn sanding.
Damnit.
I broke down and bought polycrylic semi gloss and a $15 paint brush like the tutorial said.
I gave it a day to dry and got to sanding. I used 220 grit to get this crap off. It seemed to be an easy job. I noticed a spot, about the size of a pencil eraser where the sander at took it down to the primer. WHAT?!?! Upon further inspection I saw that it was bubbled. I stuck my finger in, and before I knew it, THIS HAPPENED!!!
WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?! The clear coat flaked off like dry Elmer's glue, and the paint came off like electrical tape. The primer was all dusty. Through all of this, I found something very satisfying in peeling the paint off in the biggest chunks I've ever seen paint peel. It was therapeutic if you will. And honestly, I was sort of happy I got to start over with different paint to get off those God forsaken paint brush streaks.\
I washed off all the dust and realized it was pretty smooth except for the water damaged spots. So I sanded. And cleaned. And sanded. And cleaned.
I decided that since the spray paint turned out so well with my chair makeover, I was just going to spray paint. I was so over paint brush streaks. I bought Rustoleum 2x paint and primer and got to it. Immediately, I was happier. There was a bit of uneven-ness, and I used 2 cans on the entire table. Of course I did this on a 90° day, with 1000% humidity, and because it was so hot, I took off the mask. I ended up sick the rest of the day. I even picked out black boogers. Awesome. As I write this (the next day) my head is still a little fuzzy. Why would anyone inhale aerosol cans on purpose is beyond me.
So I went and checked the table after it set over night and it had bubbled up in a few spots. My bad. It was too damn hot, and I had too little patience to wait for it to dry before putting on another coat.
Ohmyfreakinggod!!!
I know this is my fault for not waiting long enough between coats. I just couldn't help it. I just wanted it done.
*whines*
So, I hand sanded MORE! And cleaned it off AGAIN.
Another freaking coat.
That's 3 cans.
Stupid stripes.
One more damn coat and I quit with the paint. I quit.
Time with polycrylic. I have been staring at that can for a week.
FINALLY! Something that worked the first time!!! I used miniwax polycrylic in semi gloss. I used an expensive very soft brush. I did 4 coats and I finally have a smooth as a baby butt table top! The only bad thing that happened during this step was I was barefoot (like usual) in the garage, and stepped on a damn bee. Other than that though, there's no brush strokes, no bubbles. Just glossy!
After all this, I am letting it sit in the garage and cure. I'm not screwing this up again!!
*UPDATE* I gave it about 3 days to cure. I was really sick of using a card table for our family dinners. I treated it like a newborn baby the first few days. Coasters, hot pads, the whole bit. But its been a month now and there isn't a scratch, ding or raised up spot anywhere to be seen. It looks great!!
Thanks for reading about my first catastrophic furniture redo! Please feel free to leave comments, maybe some advice if you have it!
